Going through my own journey and helping many others work on their own journey, I’ve learned a few things about how to support people and not derail them. Many times people feel judged or even sabotaged by people who they are closest to. I don’t believe anyone does this on purpose and maybe just need a few ideas on how to word things during this time 😊
Don’t judge! Just don’t do it. The choices of another person are not your own. Maybe you enjoyed running and she enjoys yoga or strength training – great! You are different people. One of my favorite phrases I heard last year is “don’t should all over others”. LOVED it! Most people should on others because they think they are helping and sharing information. Unless you are the coach, listen and support. It’s really that simple.
Don’t be weird about food. Don’t add judgment to your friend’s choice. It can be as simple as offering food in a weird way. “Am I allowed to offer you cake” for example, leaves your friend with no good answer. Yes, elicits judgement and so does no in that scenario. Simply offer as you normally would and she will make her decision. When she does, remember it’s not you so no judgement. (I hope this goes without saying, but NEVER say “I thought you were trying to lose weight”)
Suggest different activities. Maybe you miss the social time with your co-worker over cake in the office kitchen. Now that she avoids it, you miss chatting. Try suggesting a walk around the office or eating lunch together. More often than not, it’s not the food itself but the time together. The same is true for getting drinks after work. Again you can go for a walk or try an activity together.
Most importantly- LISTEN! Change is never easy and always brings up emotions we don’t expect. Be there for your friend and/or family member and they will be there for you. It really is that simple 😊
What would you add or take out? What’s the best way someone helped you make healthy changes?